Thursday, September 8, 2011

One More Post About Demon Children

Okay, I'm sorry, this is probably getting old, but I have one more story to tell about my third years.

But this is a nice story!  It turns out my little Hellspawns have souls after all!

It all started when I was on my way home from school.  As I was approaching my building, I suddenly heard a voice calling out for me as loudly as possible.

Damnit.  Perv again.  Turned out Perv, VK Kid, and Brute (who would've thought they were friends with Brute too!) were sitting in the parking lot outside my building.  Although they didn't appear to be up to anything (they live in the building behind mine, so it's their parking lot too), I just thought "goddamnit, why me?!" when I spotted them.  I smiled and waved and, to my amusement, they all two-hand waved back at me.  Even VK Kid.  Still, they were sitting right outside my damn window, and I was not in the mood for any fiendish stalking and tomfoolery.  Especially not with Brute there too.  I reeeeally didn't want them to bother me.  After waving, I opened the door to my apartment and went upstairs.

For the next few hours, I almost forgot the kids were out there.  Every now and then I'd hear someone shout, and I think a girl came by at one point because there was a high-pitched something out there.  I just ignored them and watched TV.  Eventually I got up to make curry.  I turned on iTunes and started playing disc 2 of Dir en grey's DUM SPIRO SPERO for the first time.  Yes, the first time.  I have been seriously lazy.  Anyways, just as the water was boiling and the curry was melting, the doorbell rang.  Annoyed, I turned off the flame and went to look at the little screen that all delightfully modern Japanese homes have.  But I didn't see anyone out there.  I figured someone left a package and ignored it and went back to my curry.  As I was stirring, however, the doorbell rang again.  I kept ignoring it, because now I thought it was the NHK guy at my door to take some unnecessary money from me for a channel I don't even watch (seriously, you never actually have to pay him, just ignore him).  After another minute, the doorbell rang once, twice, three times... four times...  Now I was convinced it was the pesky NHK guy, so I turned off the flame yet again, ran over to turn off Dir en grey (how dare anyone interrupt Dir en grey!!!), and rushed downstairs.  I open the door and what do I see...?

Perv.  And VK Kid.  And Brute.  They were walking away, thinking I wasn't going to answer the door.  I called out, "hello!" to them rather tentatively and they turned around.  They trotted back over, waving.  Now I was mad, though.  How dare those little brats stalk me to the point of ringing my bell!  Annoyed, I shouted, "nani yatteno?!" ("what the hell are you doing?!").  Perv laughed and asked me what I was doing.  I told them I was making curry.  He asked if I knew how to cook, and I said I couldn't make much more than curry.  Perv was like, "oh, gonna have it for breakfast too?"  I shrugged.  I needed to humor them to get them to go away.  Perv pointed at Brute.  "Do you know him?"  I was like, "of course I know him!  He's my student!"  Brute nodded sheepishly.  He thought I'd never noticed him before!  Then Perv asked me if I have any friends in town.  Well... I don't.  I have friends in the city, but I have to take a train to get there.  I'm one of only two foreign English teachers in the town and I've never met the other.  I told them I didn't have any friends in town and they all suddenly looked really sad.  "Sabishii deshou?" ("you must be lonely, right?") said Perv.  "Kawaisou!" ("you poor thing!") said VK Kid.  I stared at them, unable to believe what they were saying.  "We figured you were lonely..." said Perv with a shrug.

And then I died.  My black, gothy, decaying, hateful soul melted into a puddle of eyeliner on the road.

We wound up talking for 45 minutes.  The boys seemed lonely and restless and bored, and I can't blame them in such a small, crappy town.  They asked if I thought they were a gang, and I laughed and pointed at each of them and said, "gang" "gang" "gang."  Perv asked if I thought they were a bunch of Yankees, hahaha.  So now I call them The Gang.  They wanted to know all about America and asked me tons of questions, and they wanted to know all about what I knew about Japan.  They made sure to explain any Japanese I didn't seem to understand.  Perv did ask if I had a boyfriend, but it was the loneliness issue again.  When I said no, he was like, "you must be so lonely!"  Despite his repeated jokes about us being boyfriend and girlfriend, Perv wound up getting a phone call... from his actual girlfriend, lol.  They asked me if I would tell on them if they smoke, and I said I wouldn't tell.  I mean, they're fourteen and fifteen years old - they can figure out their own shit.  Perv was like, "wah, yasashii sensei!" ("ooh, you're a nice teacher!") and shook hands with me.  Brute shook hands with me too, lol.  But not VK Kid.  He's too cool for that, lol.  But VK Kid actually wound up talking a lot.  More than I've ever heard him speak.  I was impressed.

At one point, while they were sitting in the street, a couple walked by with a shiba inu and it tackled Perv.  VK Kid and Brute laughed while Perv flailed on the ground screaming, "Matte!  Matte!" ("Wait!  Wait!") while the dog licked him all over.  It was pretty funny.

After about 45 minutes of sitting around in the street chatting, the kids realized it was getting late.  I felt bad because they looked reluctant to go home.  But I can't do anything about that, obviously.  As they were standing up, I noticed a frog and pointed at it and said, "how do you say that in Japanese?"  They told me it's "kaeru" which is also how you say, "go home."  Perv was like, "well, I'm starving.  Kaeru (I'm going home)."  I went "eh?!" and pointed at the frog.  Perv was like, "I'm not going to eat the frog!!!" and then congratulated me on making a joke in Japanese, lol.

So, basically, my little monsters are horribly misunderstood.  They're just lonely and bored and looking for someone to talk to who isn't really a teacher.  It was nice to be able to talk to them and actually get to know some of the kids.  They're so different outside of school!  They're actually willing to show their nice side a little!

The next day, while I was in the staff room, Perv walked by.  He giggled and looked embarrassed, lol.  Stupid kid...

Okay, DIAURA's next, I swear!


  1. I know i've said it before, but I like these posts as much as the indies posts :) Got a decent laugh out of the 'kaeru' joke, lol.

  2. The kaeru joke, haha! Aw, but now it's cute little monsters? That's better.

  3. I really hope you will write more on your monsters,they're amusing. And I'm very looking forward to the DIAURA post.

  4. Don't worry, guys, I'll keep writing about the monsters! This blog has never been 100% about concert reporting, so you can always look forward to updates about random stuff as well as concerts, lol! That's the joy of me living a total double life, hahaha.

  5. Haha, awesome post~ I was stalking this blog for concert reporting, but this was really fun to read to. Haha, demonspawns have their *cute* moments too...who would've thought