Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Teaching... in General

I'm sure there are plenty of perks to teaching in a good school.  The students are easy to deal with... the teachers are less stressed out... you don't have to worry about being mauled at any given moment...  But teaching at a school whose students' overall grade point average is 10% lower than all the other local schools (this is a true fact) has the benefit of being hilarious.

Today, one of the English teachers was very happy.  "Our students did better on the final exams than they did on the midterms!"

"That's great!" I said.  "Improvement is good.  What were their grades?"

"The class average," said the teacher.  "Was... 59%."


Not much later, the student I often refer to as Perv was herded into the staff room.

"Smell him!" shouted the teacher who escorted him.  The teachers looked understandably confused.  "Someone come here and smell him and tell me his hair isn't soaked in cologne!"

The brave male teacher sitting across from me stood up, went up to Perv, stuck his nose in his hair, took a big whiff, nodded, and sat back down.  Perv wailed in protest.  Then we all watched, giggling, as the teacher dragged Perv into the staff room kitchen, shoved his head in the sink, and started washing the stink from his hair in front of everyone.  I hadn't smelled the cologne until that moment... at which point I was punched in the face by a fist of Axe.  Perv laughed hysterically as the teacher scrubbed his hair and lectured him.  No one in the staff room could keep a straight face.  Finally, Perv emerged from the kitchen, dripping wet.  It was the first time I'd ever seen him with flat hair.  Usually it sticks straight up.

"Aaaaaw, he's so cute!" a female teacher squealed.

Perv took a deep breath and shouted, "sappari!" ("I feel refreshed!") and left the room.  Then everyone cracked up.

Not much later, the English teacher from before was handing tests back to another class of students.

"How did we do?!" one of the girls shouted as she watched the faces of her classmates getting back their final exams.

"Out of the five 2nd year classes, your class was the 4th worst."

The class burst into cheers, with students jumping up and screaming, dancing, and making animal noises.  Hey, I guess it's better than beating yourself up, right?  Some time after that, in a fit of boredom, the student I call Spike pulled his pants off.

After we were done with that class, I sighed to the English teacher and said, "that class is crazy.  They're so loud!"  His response in English was:

"Sometimes, when I'm in that class, I want to shout 'shut the fuck up!'"


And that's my life 5/7 days of the week.


  1. Axe punches....I get that all the time :P. Nothing like a positive classroom. I think the students beating themselves up would have been 3x worse.

  2. As much as this makes me question my decision, I still thinking of coming back here to teach after I graduate ^-^;.

  3. Nah, don't let my silly stories turn you off of teaching in Japan. My school's an unusual circumstance. MelJay's students aren't so misbehaved, and I sometimes help out at middle schools in the city and their students are angels compared to mine. If you were to teach in Japan, your students would probably be great (although, as a rule, most Japanese students DO act out a lot). But even if you wind up at a school like mine, I think the kids are pretty funny. Foreigners who teach in Japan aren't responsible for discipline - in fact, we're discouraged from it - so all we have to do is stand by and laugh while the teachers deal with the troublemakers, lol. You shouldn't question your decision to teach in Japan if that's what you want to do ^__^

  4. lol your school sounds a lot like mine. But my school only about has about 70 students which I think makes it worse... or possibly better... lol But one of my classes had about the same exact test average! And they also improved because previously it was about 30%. But yeah, most of the time they hilarious. But when they are bad, they are very bad.