Blah blah blah, had lunch at Shakey's pizza buffet, yay real pepperoni, yay marshmallow, pineapple, and kiwi dessert pizza. Blah blah blah shopping at Sunshine City. Who gives a shit.
Anyways, went to the venue, I like BLACKHOLE, it sucks less than the other venues. Staff is nice. Etc. etc., went inside, it was too crowded, and there was more luggage on the floor than people because indies fans are cock-sucking assholes. And also they smell. And also they can bite me. Everyone was a dick, everyone made me mad, everyone ruined the show.
First band up is Raddock:
They sucked. Generic, boring shit. They were trying to be unique with a dual-vocal set-up. The vocalist sings, the guitarist screams. And you know what? I'd buy that as a really cool idea, if the actual vocalist was a good singer. But he isn't. At all. He's a monotone Ruki wannabe who was lip-syncing half the time. And the singing guitarist was absurdly talented at the guitar while the other guitarist did absolutely nothing. So the right guitarist was a better vocalist and guitarist than his own vocalist and guitarist. And you know what? He's probably also a better bassist, drummer, and clarinet player too. So Raddock has one awesome member supported by a bunch of nothing. And also they can bite me for playing five fucking songs despite being the first band.
Next band up is DOPES.:
Even more generic, boring garbage. I don't... even remember... anything... which is probably for the best...
Next band up is 4tune_UNIT:
Get it?! Get it?! It's 4tune like fortune. Ahahahahaha, they're so fucking witty! They also totally suck too. They started last month (no, I'm serious, they started in May of 2012) and their vocalist has no idea what the hell he's doing. He's awkward, uncomfortable with the crowd, and makes annoying noises. They did a repeater song that went on forever, and the vocalist made the same parrot-squawking noise every time gyaku-dive happened, over and over and over. When it was done, MelJay turned to me and said, "Polly wanna cracker?" And they only have fans because of the token girl with a bow. And the pink-haired guy, for some reason. The girls to my left were having a screaming match to see who could shriek his name the loudest during quiet moments. Annoyed, I turned to MelJay and said, "gawd, get a boyfriend."
Next band up is NOCTURNAL BLOODLUST:
They seemed halfway decent at the show they hosted a few weeks ago, so I thought I'd give them a try online with real music. Honestly, I couldn't get into it. I think the vocalist is an extraordinarily talented screamer, but he doesn't have a band good enough to back him up. None of the songs caught me at all. Besides, the band acted way more hardcore at that other show because it was that kind of show. This show was stupid, so NOCTURNAL BLOODLUST played way less interesting shit. What do you expect from a band who went visual-kei just to tap into the teenage female money-jar? It's like they showed up to the venue with their own shark to jump. Even their silver-haired member wasn't especially funny, other than trying to balance his guitar between the palm of his hand and the ceiling. The only redeeming moment was when the vocalist told a particularly obnoxious girl during the MC to shut up. Except then he started calling us "baby-chan." IF YOU CALL US THAT ONE MORE TIME, I'M PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE.
The next band up is Blitz:
I'm sure you can tell from the picture, but this band was undoubtedly the worst act of the night. Obnoxious, annoying, fake-ass bullshit. I love when you get these bands that do fanservice, and the one getting felt up looks more like he's grimacing in pain than smiling. Disgusting. Oh, and this band had a repeater song too. Ahahahaha, wonderful. Thank god BLACKHOLE has Wifi. I spent the entire act wedged in an painfully uncomfortable position between some obnoxious girls while reading fmylife.com on my iPod Touch.
The next band up is DECAY:
This was the band Eigo recommended to us at the Signal show. And, sure enough, Eigo showed up, and it was nice to talk to her. But honestly, I wasn't impressed with the band. They left no impression on me whatsoever, and I was really bored. Which is unfortunate. Oh well.
Anyways, before I get to DEZERT and the one not horrible part of this show, I just want to talk about the fucking fans at this thing, because these are the worst I've ever encountered, period. It was, like, out of control. It was too crowded because of all the fucking luggage, so people turned into raging jackasses. People had no problem slipping in between people and trapping them sideways or against walls (I got trapped sideways at one point, and the look of horror on my face made a miserable girl behind me laugh). At one point, so many people sat down that MelJay and I got trapped standing in an immovable island of bitches. Luggage behind me, people's asses in front of me, and less room for my feet than the actual size of my feet. When MelJay attempted to sit down, a girl in front of her simply sat on her. Seriously. Just sat on her like she was luggage. There was a group of people sitting near the front taking up a ton of space, and the staff got so angry, a staff woman came out and actually started screaming at them. I've never seen the staff scream at fans. The staff woman was pointing at the girls and their luggage and screaming and dragging their stuff out of the way. One fan was so traumatized, she just kept shaking her head band and forth rapidly like a bobble-head doll. Good. I hope she was scarred for life. There were fans with hair down to their waists who would just suddenly start headbanging their hair around and hitting everyone around them in the face, even though no one around them was a fan of the band. The girl in front of me spent most of the show with her hands covering her face because the cheap extensions smacking her over and over were causing her pain. Not that I care, because she had a foot of space in front of her and refused to ever move up because she's a special flower and no one matters but her. You know what? There's more a shit-load more I could say about the fans, but I don't even want to talk about this anymore. All I'll say is, they've made me consider never going to an event show again. At the very least, I don't want to ever go to a shit-show again.
The next band up is awesome and gets a golden throne of honor on top of this dung pile. Next band up is DEZERT:
Thank The Seven for DEZERT (and seven points to anyone who correctly guesses the reference in the comments). Like, seriously, if not for DEZERT, I would've walked out of the show weeping at the tragedy of it all. At least DEZERT knows how to give us a good time, and the crowds had thinned a bit by then (although not as much as you'd think, since DEZERT is a new-ish band).
Um, yeah, they played all hard-core songs, as opposed to the last time I saw them when a couple lighter songs slipped in. Vocalist Chiaki was in a "demon" mood, and acted like a twitchy, flailing monster for a lot of the show. He's getting quite the fanbase. Girls were spazzing over Chiaki like he was some kinda major vocalist. Fuck, I remember when they were nobodies. Overall, the band has a bit of an "evil" presence, especially with the fully-covered SaZ Monster lurking, and the fact that guitarist Kira is starting to act a bit more like SaZ too. And the new drummer, Sora, always has this smirk on his face like he wants to see someone in the audience spontaneously combust for his own amusement.
Highlights... well, Chiaki's still doing that stupid thing where, instead of MC-ing, they play a recording of a chipmunk-fied voice. It's dumb. But after that, Chiaki actually started talking, and he told us it's been three months since he'd actually done a spoken MC. Three months?! What the fuck is that?! One of the reasons DEZERT has so many fans is because, in the past, Chiaki reeled in a lot of crowds with his hilarious, spoken MCs.
Anyways, Chiaki was doing a real MC because it was their drummer Sora's birthday. As Chiaki was trying to explain the situation, Sora took a big swig of water and actually managed to spit it over the drum set and hit Chiaki from behind. Chiaki was just like, "huh... interesting..." without even turning around. Anyways, SaZ disappeared offstage and returned with a big, white cake for Sora. Then, for whatever reason, SaZ bunny-hopped the cake across the stage to give it to Sora, which was the most bizarrely uncharacteristic thing I've ever seen SaZ do (but got us all to laugh, at least). Then there was this awkward silence, and Chiaki was like, "so... what do you guys usually do when it's somebody's birthday...?" There was another awkward pause, and then the audience carefully began singing Happy Birthday. When the song was over, the saizen shot off party poppers and SaZ brought the cake over to Sora, who leaned over the drum set, stuck his face in the cake, and took a big bite. When SaZ pulled away, Sora was like, "no, wait, I want more cake," and made SaZ come back and give him another bite off the side. Very classy, Sora. Very classy. Then everyone started calling Sora's name to get him to MC, but they were doing it in that obnoxiously cute voice that Japanese girls do, where they're like "Soraaaaaaa" and go up an octave at the end. Anyone who's watched a JRock DVD has probably heard this voice. Anyways, Sora grabbed the mic and shouted, "why are you all using that cute voice?! I want you to scream!" Aw shit son, I like this guy. So then everyone started banshee-screaming and growling Sora's name instead. Then Sora did an MC, thanking everyone. While he was talking, Chiaki decided to get revenge and threw a bunch of water from his water bottle into Sora's face. When Sora got hit, he spluttered on the water and then screamed, "SPLASH MOUNTAIN!!!"
Sora, you are officially my hero, bro.
Other things... DEZERT now has two repeater songs, meaning twice the opportunities for them to fuck with the audience. One of the things I like about DEZERT is the fact that they value audience-wide participation so much. Almost every song has side-to-side slam dancing, or gyaku-dive, or a dog pile. There's always a chance for everyone to have a mutual good time together, and the band likes to join in too (which is why SaZ spends half of every repeater song in the audience instead of onstage). It makes me smile because it's a very n00b/young band attitude, but DEZERT keeps it up even when they're at a crowded show. They're not willing to give up that youthful spirit, even if they're hosting a show.
As usual, the dog pile got pretty ridiculous. The SaZ Monster was out for revenge this time, and was yanking people off their feet, running around the crowd pushing people into the pile, putting himself on the barrier so people would gyaku-dive him, and - most amusing of all - forcing groups of girls into tiny mosh pits with him in the back. The mosh pits kinda looked like ring-around-the-rosy with fists, lol. SaZ was being pretty rough, and he almost tore off my arm a couple times. At one point, he dragged me into the pit and started yanking on my arm over and over like he was trying to start a lawn mower. I was like, "aaaagh, why?!" At one point, he grabbed my arm while I was stuck sideways and gave me a yank, and I thought he was gonna rip my arm out of its socket. SaZ, you boy, me girl, be careful, lol. I got yanked around by Chiaki a few times but, thankfully, he didn't go for my neck this time. He did attempt crowd-surfing once, which was kinda funny. He threw himself in, and the girls caught him, but they couldn't hold him up for some reason (even though Chiaki's not especially big). The thing is, they didn't just drop him either. Poor Chiaki slooooooowly sank towards the floor, until he was just standing there in the middle of everyone. I wanted to try and help keep him up but, from where I was standing, I would've had to catch him under the front of his neck, and I'm not out to choke the poor guy (even if he has no problem choking me).
Kira is also starting to get in on the action, and seems to enjoy yanking girls around. I'm guessing SaZ and Chiaki finally wore off on him. And there's something strangely intimidating about Kira (something about his face) so it's kinda scary when he's suddenly got you by the arm (which happened to me a couple times). And of course there's always that moment when you turn around and realize SaZ is right behind you and it's like OH GOD SAVE ME. And then he's shoving you and you're running and then he's in the pile next to you and there's nowhere to go. SaZ was particularly ferocious at this show.
Overall, DEZERT's just a lot of fun. Even Eigo seemed to have a good time, and she wasn't interested in them at the beginning. By the end, she was doing all the furi and smiling. At one point, I stumbled out of the pit towards the back (the pit tends to decompress every few measures so everyone can take a quick break before running back in) and Eigo took one look at me and burst out laughing. I had no idea what was so funny other than the fact that I probably looked really disheveled and someone ripped the bottom of my boot off during the side-to-side which made me limp, but I found out after the show that it was because I somehow got a streak of eyeliner across my forehead. It certainly couldn't have been my eyeliner, so where the hell did it come from?!
When the show ended, Sora came out from behind the drum set with a massive squirt gun and sprayed the crowd. Sora, you're an awesome bastard.
Anyways, those were the highlights of the show. When it was over, my new left boot was nearly in pieces, and I went into my purse to discover some jackass fan somehow got into my wallet and stole all my paper money. Isn't that nice? After all the effort I go through to be as nice as possible at these shows and not step on people's luggage and always put my tiny purse way off to the side under other people's stuff, this is the thanks I get. I just get fucking robbed. I called BLACKHOLE the next day to see if the staff found any lost money, but the staff guy was pretty much like, "I bet someone stole it." No shit, Sherlock.
Honestly, I'm just kinda done. Done with shitty event shows, and done with all these fucking brats. Obviously, I won't stop going to shows (because it's basically who I am), but I want to start avoiding shitty shows. My 2-3 Rule has to be enforced again or this kind of thing will keep happening. I can't stand the shitty bands, and I can't stand the kinds of people they attract. Sometimes, when I go to event shows like these, it's because I think I might discover something new and exciting. But the thing is, I rarely ever do. Obviously, I come out lucky on occasion and find bands like DEZERT, but that's about it. Most bands I like, I discovered at super-indies shows, with decent bands. The rest I discovered online, or in indies shops, or flyers, or word-of-mouth. Not at crap-tastic shows full of money-stealing bitches.
Oh, also, I bought DEZERT's new (and practically only) single. It's called Boku no Himitsu to Reizouko, which means "My Secret and Refrigerator." Well then.
That night, I went to a 100 yen Lawson and bought super glue and literally glued my boots back together. Ghetto style. The following day, I also told my friends I wanted tasty food since the previous day sucked so bad, so we went to Ducky Duck. They had an awesome seafood doria:
And melon shortcake!
|You are correct if you believe I bought this because it has balls on top.|
Well, I was smiling until I saw the old man in a tank top and booty-shorts. Do not want :-(
Also, I want to say this... whoever the thief at the show was, she didn't take my UnsraW tickets, which were in my wallet too. Seriously, THANK YOU. I can always make more money, but I can't get another UnsraW ticket.
Speaking of which, UnsraW is on Friday, holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. I'm going to do another post before the show, addressing things like how I got the tickets, why I'm going, all that kinda stuff. I don't want to clutter the reports with anything unnecessary. The UnsraW report(s) have to be clean and free of anything not related to the shows. And as my parentheses has shown you, I haven't decided if I'll write two separate reports, or smoosh both shows into one. I guess I'll see how the shows go before deciding.
But seriously, holy shiiiiiiiiiiit. I can't believe after two years and the band's complete disbandment, I get to say:
See you all next time, for motherfucking UnsraW!!!