Sunday, July 1, 2012

UnsraW's Final Show, 6/23

Today, this blog says a final farewell to one of indie’s greats, UnsraW:

From left to right: Madoka, Shou, Yuuki, Jin, Tetsu

The band’s final show was entitled —Shuuketsu— LAST LIVE Gate of Birth(“shuuketsu” means “ending” or “closing”).

As you can imagine, it was hard for me to wrap my mind around what was coming.  Logically, I knew UnsraW ended a full year ago, but all that happened far away, across the ocean, and I just let it slip by without a second glance.  I was too upset to care back then, and simply tuned it out when it happened.  But now I was going to have to face the band, in person, and say farewell.  I would have to look Yuuki in the eye, knowing he was going to close the Gate of Death right in front of me.  When Yuuki first ended the band, he admitted we might think him cowardly for not showing his face to us for the last shows.  Well, now he was going to have to stand there before us and end it, with all our eyes upon him.  If I was him, I’d be terrified, but I wonder if he ever considered how scary it would be for the crowd, too.

Also, something I wanted to mention…  Over time, I’ve erected barriers around this blog, blocking out a lot of the personal feelings that go along with the shows I go to.  I don’t particularly like talking about myself, and especially not my feelings, but I’ll attempt to take down the barriers today, to allow this post to show the truest essence of the UnsraW show as I saw it.  I don't want to talk too much about little details at this show, because there will be too much overlap with the last post.  Instead, I'm mostly just gonna talk about the "feeling" of being at the show.  For two days only, UnsraW opened the Gate of Death, so I’ll try to open my own gate too.

The morning of the show, my friends and I felt dreadful.  As you can imagine, we tried to fill our morning with fun things.  We discovered Japan has Auntie Anne’s pretzels, so we went to one of the shops in Ikebukuro.  They have a really good sesame seed pretzel and tasty peach-lemonade slushies.  The pretzel was good, but I was really nauseated, so I probably didn’t enjoy it as much as I could have.  Then we went around arcades, looking for toys to win, although we didn’t really find or win anything.  Most of the day went like that, and ended in a café where we sat around nervously waiting for the show.  Thankfully, because the REWIND show was really fun, we were able to share a lot of happy stories and talk positively about UnsraW.  And that kept us from thinking about what the end of the last show would be like.  There had been no tears at the end of the REWIND show, so maybe we’d get spared too much sadness this time…?

Eventually, we had no choice but to return to Ikebukuro EDGE.  I was worried about being a foreigner seen at both shows (and being accused of being a ticket stealer), but I saw tons of people at the Saturday show that I saw on Friday, and they weren’t at all trying to hide it.  Many of them were wearing the Gate of Birth t-shirts from the previous night (has anyone else thought about the fact that UnsraW named their final show “vagina”?).  Anyways, I felt a lot better knowing over half the audience was from the first show.  Actually, one of my justifications for going to both shows was, “well, anyone who recognizes me as an asshole at the second show must first be an asshole too.”  So I guess it was okay.

Anyways, there was a new bouquet of flowers (with balloons!) outside the venue, all nice and purple.  The new flowers were just for Shou.  The sign says the flowers are there because it was two days before Shou’s birthday:

Again, a super-special thanks to Break for letting me use her pictures.
The flowers were a cute gesture, but it made me realize this is now the second year in a row that Shou’s had to watch his band end right before his birthday.  Poor guy!  What bad timing!

Anyways, my friends and I had gone through another ticket shuffle that, once again, put me in the forties and well ahead of my friends.  So I went down the stairs to join the under-50 tickets.  Crimson wasn’t at the show, however, so I was prepared for a long wait by myself.  Oh goodie.

When I got into the venue, I decided to move more to the middle than the right, even though it meant being a little further back (more like fourth/fifth row than third).  I did this because Peachy was saying she wanted to be able to give Jin and Tetsu some love after giving Madoka all the love on Friday, and I also wanted to be closer to Yuuki’s section.  Not because I’m choosing favorites here in the band’s final hours, but because the fans in front of Yuuki are the most fun.  Madoka’s saizen was a little stiff and his fans were more cautious, but the Yuuki fans were nucking futs.  I wanted a piece o’ that.  Plus, I wanted to be in the Yuuki support section when the Big Guy had to say farewell.  This show was really for him.  His band mates never would’ve considered a reunion show if Yuuki hadn’t wanted to do it so badly.  The instrumental members all said their goodbyes already, but this would be Yuuki's first and last farewell.

I noticed Break standing a few rows behind me and encouraged her to come join me.  The wait is much less painful when you’ve got a friend to talk to!  Soon enough, Peachy and MelJay made it into the venue and moved up to join us, although it was a little more difficult than Friday.  There were a lot more people early to the venue this time, and they were all much more interested in being close to the stage than Friday’s group.  Demographics were switched up too.  There were significantly less foreigners (just my group, and a couple other stragglers).  Nonetheless, the bitchy middle-aged woman behind me was grumbling about foreigners.  Bitch, please.  Also, there were a ton more boys.  I remembered UnsraW having a lot of male fans when I studied abroad, and I wondered where they all were on Friday.  Well, they all came out for Saturday.  And many of them weren’t just hovering in the back like boys at visual-kei shows usually do.  Instead, many of them were right up there at the front with the rest of us.

Another interesting thing in the crowd: a very old man and woman.  Very old, like late sixties or early seventies.  They were standing in the back at first, but eventually moved all the way up front and stood along the wall on Madoka’s side before the show started.  They looked very stern and irritable, not like fans, and they weren’t even talking to each other.  Possibly… one of the band members’ parents…?  Probably Madoka’s, if they were standing on the right like that, unless they just wanted to be along the wall cuz it’s safe there.  Honestly, having heard some of the stories Yuuki’s told about his (psychotically) strict parents, I kinda wondered if they were his.  They certainly fit the description.  But they were kinda short, and Yuuki's so tall... maybe they weren't his.  But they were someone's parents.

Other than demographics, I noticed some other differences too.  For one thing, there were some cameras, obviously there to film the show for the DVD.  Also, the venue had these crazy lights ghosting over the walls, and a scrim was pulled down over the front of the stage.  Most of the lights were big geometrical shapes, making it look like ghostly squares and zig-zags were drifting across the scrim and circling the audience.  A lot of giants hearts went floating by too, most of them full of shapes.  One of them looked like a big leopard print heart.

For that hour-long wait, I felt strangely okay.  Just seeing the band the night before gave me the peace of mind I needed, so I didn’t feel as nervous for the Saturday show.  That is, until 7:00 passed, and there was no sign the band was coming.  My friends and I started cracking jokes about how UnsraW blew their perfect-timing award from the previous night.  I was so proud of you guys for being on time on Friday, and now you're late!  Your make-up looks fine, Yuuki, leave it alone!  But after five minutes, I was starting to feel anxious.  Then it was 7:10, and then it was 7:15… and still no sign of the band.  I tried to crack some nervous jokes about counting how many times the leopard print heart drifted over the scrim, but I didn’t really feel like laughing.  Oh god, something’s happened…! I thought.  Someone broke a bone backstage, or someone’s crying, or someone’s sick… or Yuuki isn’t going to do this!!!

By 7:20, the tension in the audience was like a hot, wool blanket draped over the crowd.  Unlike the Friday show, no one was screaming the band’s name or calling out for them.  Everyone was kind of freaked out, I thinkI was starting to pray someone would start screaming, so it might encourage the band to come out.  Maybe they were waiting for us to yell...?  Please just come, please just come… just one more show…!  Now I felt more nervous than I ever had at the first show.  The people around us were looking extremely anxious, and many people were fidgeting.  One girl in front of us kept crouching down and burying her head in her knees, and her friend was talking about how she felt like she was going to cry before this was all over.  A thuggish-looking man in front of us looked like he was going to throw up.  It was still a few more minutes before finally, finally, the lights went down.

Music began to play, but it wasn’t the end of finale music from the Friday show.  Instead, it was some kind of dark, evil-sounding track, something similar to the ZERO intro, but more symphonic than that.  The floating hearts across the scrim vanished to be replaced by an image… I don’t remember it well because I was too busy screaming and freaking out about the show finally starting.  I believe it was flames on the scrim, and stuff like “Gate of Birth” was being written across the fire.  I’m sure when I see the DVD the beginning will come back to me, but right now all I remember is everyone crushing forward in a mad panic and screaming.  Obviously, UnsraW wanted a much more dramatic entrance than Friday.

After the dramatic words were done scrolling across the scrim, lights began to flash across the smoky stage.  Unlike the end of finale intro, it wasn’t entirely clear when the band members would take the stage, so the audience was squirming in anticipation and screaming everyone's names.  As always, the first one to cross the stage was Shou, smiling even wider than the day before.  The next one to cross the stage was Tetsu, looking as diabolical as Day 1, and a tad less nervous.  The third one was Jin, who skipped the witch hat this time.  Next up was Madoka, who no longer had the mesh veil hanging down over his face.  He seemed much more confident this time, and he was even smiling a little.  I wish I could remember the band members’ entrances better, but the scrim was still down and the stage was so smoky, so everything was blurry.  I was trying so hard to see everyone that the little details escape me.  I think the footage continued to play over the scrim during their entrances, but I was doing everything in my power to see past it, so I don't remember it well.

And, of course, the last motherfucker to take the stage was Yuuki.  Even before he entered, the crowd surged forward and everyone started screaming hysterically, especially a lot of the boys who weren’t at the Friday show.  And then, at last, Yuuki came strolling through the door, strangely calm even as the audience shrieked and battled forward.  Yuuki came up to the front, growled at us, and glared at us through his grotesque mask.  It looked more decayed than the previous night.

Time to close that mother-fucking Gate of Death.  Prior to the show, Jin blogged and said he and his band mates were gonna show us the “true meaning of UnsraW.”  Well, you know what, Jin?  Come at me, bro.  Show me the true meaning!

Setlist (again, courtesy of Jin):

Opening SE
Gate of Death
under the skin
Drum solo
Rhythm SessionSEVEN
Mawari Dama ni Terasareta Umi wa Namida ni Karete

Encore 1:

Enshoku no Yume

Encore 2:

end of finale
Warai Oni

Instead of going into some kind of brain-basher, the band went into the more melancholy Gate of Death, the song from which the final concert got its name.  The song itself got its name from UnsraW's first concert.  Thus, it's one of UnsraW's most significant songs.  If you haven't heard the song before and are curious, it's one of the only UnsraW songs with a music video.  Just bear in mind that instead of Jin and Madoka, we have bassist Jun and guitarist Rai:

The scrim stayed down for most of Gate of Death, obscuring the band in shadows and blurring their edges.  The stage glowed yellow.  After the Friday show, my friends and I lamented the fact that the band didn’t play Gate of Death or Maria, yet here they were opening right up with one of them.  I’m quite sure it was meant to be significant, since Yuuki had talked about closing the Gate of Death at this show.  But to close the gate, maybe they first had to open it.  Halfway through the song, when it began to build up, they finally dropped the scrim, revealing the band in full.

At the sight of Yuuki, fully visible, I was shocked.  He was wearing the same costume as the day before, and nothing had changed other than the fact that his hair was styled up in a giant poof like a lion's mane.  But that’s not what struck me.  It was him.  The day before, Yuuki had seemed thin and frail, as if someone had sucked the very life out of him.  Yet somehow, at this show, it looked like he’d grown in just twenty-four hours.  It’s the craziest goddamn thing.  Even his costume didn’t seem nearly as baggy.  How could he have changed so much?!  It made me realize that what had looked like a physical change in Yuuki on Friday was really an emotional one.  Something in the way he held himself had made him seem frail, when he wasn’t physically frail at all (although I do think he’s lost a little weight since two years ago).  MelJay noticed the change in Yuuki too, and described it very well.  As she put it, no matter how calm and confident Yuuki seemed on Friday, what we saw on that stage was a “scared little boy.”  But the Yuuki who took the stage on Saturday was not a scared little boy… he was the Big Guy; the dominating motherfucker I remembered from two years ago.

And I seriously missed the Big Guy.

After Gate of Death, it was as if UnsraW read our thoughts after the Friday show, and went straight into Maria.  Oh.  Fuck.  Yes.  During study abroad, I never once got to see Maria live, so that was awesome.  Saturday’s setlist was even better than Friday’s.  We got BREATH again, and IN THE FACT and WITHERING BLOOD and -509-… it was like every song I adored on Friday showed up again on Saturday, plus a bunch of additions.  We even got LUST!

Everything was such a blur, it’s hard for me to remember details.  They played ALIVE again, and Yuuki spent a lot of the song in a messiah pose, with his arms held out and his head thrown back.  I remember being blown away by Yuuki’s epic scream during IN THE FACT.  One of the best screams I know of.  Yuuki wasn’t into the “temper tantrum” thing at this show, he was into a “pure fury” thing.  Instead of throwing the microphone stand at things or beating his fist against the floor, Yuuki was just a straight-up monster.  He was headbanging and snarling and constantly up at the front of the stage.  On Friday, his performance seemed directed “inward.”  He didn’t pay as much attention to the crowd and instead focused on the things around him, like the microphone stand, or the crate, or the floor, and how much he wanted to beat those things up.  At this show, however, Yuuki was all about the audience.  He seemed to make a sport out of glaring into the eyes of each and every person in the crowd and making horrible faces at them.  And seriously, when you’ve been pinned by those furious, mismatched eyes, it’s terrifying.  Yuuki would prowl along the edge of the stage occasionally, teasing all the hands grasping at him and glaring down at us.

The rest of the band was just as “into it” this time too.  Shou was smiling so much it looked like his face would crack, and I even caught Tetsu’s lips quivering into a smile a few times, although he quickly corrected his facial error.  Jin was headbanging like crazy and totally rocking out (and is still complaining about back and shoulder pain on his blog days later).  Madoka was actually up at the front, making wide-eyed, spooky faces at his fans.  It was nice to see him feeling a bit better.  Maybe he was just faking it for the camera, but overall, he seemed a lot happier and more “accepting” of this show than the REWIND one.  The band members were all interacting a lot too, even more than the Friday show.  Jin and Tetsu continued to gossip like little girls (seriously, what were those two talking about all the time?!) and everyone was bothering Shou.  I can’t even count the number of times I caught Jin or Tetsu or Madoka playing at the drum set and trying to get his attention until they were finally rewarded with a big, lopsided grin from Shou.  Some people have pretty smiles, and some people have cute smiles, and then there’s Shou.  That smile is like an eruption of light in the darkness.  The band members played switchies a lot too, so the whole crowd got to enjoy them.  Sometimes Jin even came over to Madoka’s side while Madoka was still there.  At one point, Madoka whispered something to Jin, and Jin responded by opening his mouth as wide as possible in Madoka's direction and snapping it closed like an alligator.  Madoka smirked and Jin laughed.  What the… what did Madoka say?!

After Fugen, the band left the stage except for Shou, and we finally got a real drum solo out of him (the one on Friday was kind of short, and more like an intro to the rhythm session).  As always, Shou made us call out to him as he smashed the cymbals, that big, dorky grin on his face.  He yelled some stuff out too, although it was hard to hear without the microphone.  His solo was very fun, and we clapped along, and it drifted into Rhythm SessionSEVEN just like last time.  The other three instrumental members came on stage amidst cheers and joined Shou for the pseudo-song.  It was the same as the Friday one, with the dark symphonics and heavy instrumental work.  The males in the crowd were especially loving it and headbanging along to Shou’s cymbal-crashing.  Seriously sad UnsraW never recorded Rhythm Session〜SEVEN as an actual song.

Finally, Yuuki came back, and UnsraW played Mawari Dama ni Terasareta Umi wa Namida ni Karete, which didn’t show up on Friday.  I don’t know why, but I love that song.  It doesn’t seem like the kind of song I’d like, since it’s kinda “perky”, but I love it, and I never thought I’d see it live, so that made my night.  I remember leaning back, catching MelJay's eye, and flashing her a huge smile when it started.  I sang along to the entire thing, which I don't usually do, and Jin smiled when he saw me doing it.

But after Mawari Dama, the band left, and it just felt way too soon.  How can it be encore time already?!  This time, we never bothered to call with the word “encore.”  Everyone called “UnsraW” instead.  We didn’t have to call for too long before the band returned, fists raised.  I suspected they would return for some ballads, and I was pretty sure I was correct when the band very quietly took their designated spots.  I figured we would get Sora again, until the tell-tale drum taps and lonely guitar melody of Kyuumin-Oyasumi- started up.  Aw fuck.  My friends and I had been discussing UnsraW the weekend before the shows, and talked about how Kyuumin-Oyasumi- is one of the saddest songs we know of.  Like, every time I hear it… instant depression.  And while a part of me wanted very badly to see such a powerful song live, another part of me didn’t think I had the stomach for it.  If you’re a curious reader who doesn’t know much about UnsraW and would like to hear UnsraW’s idea of a ballad (since they’re mostly known for hard rock music), Kyuumin-Oyasumi-'s a good way to start:

As you can hear, it’s pretty goddamn powerful.  The band performed it very passionately, and even Shou no longer smiled.  Yuuki sang with the tragic Yuuki!face I talked about in the last post, and he constantly had his arms out as if he was waiting for someone to embrace him.  His singing was perfectly on key, down to the last high note, and it was stunning.  The entire audience stood perfectly still and silent, just watching in awe as Yuuki spun his magic.  The "mou sukoshi dake" ("just a little more") part made my skin crawl.  It was like watching someone bear their soul outside their body.  The whole thing was chilling, and Kyuumin-Oyasumi- was the first moment during the night that I started to feel the cold fingers of horror crawl up my spine.  No other indies band can make me feel emotions like this… and they’re going away forever…

After Kyuumin-Oyasumi-, the band moved into another ballad, which was Sora.  Any other time, Sora wouldn’t have felt so bad, except that I was still feeling completely dead inside after Kyuumin-Oyasumi-.  I felt kind of paralyzed watching Yuuki sing.  It was hard for me to see because of the extremely tall boy in front of me, but I was always able to find some window to watch through, and Yuuki’s face never looked any less tragic.  After the heaviness of those two ballads, Enshoku no Yume was a huge relief.

Then UnsraW left again, and I wondered if this next entrance would be the last one we ever saw.  We all called “UnsraW!” again, and it went on for quite awhile.  The boy next to me earned the nickname Overzealous Fan, because he was so freaking excited all the time that he was nearly punching me in the face.  It didn’t seem intentional, I just felt like I was dodging his flailing limbs quite often, and sometimes it seemed like he was gonna hyperventilate.  It’s alright, Overzealous Fan, I understand your excitement.  There was this other guy in the audience who was cracking me up, though.  He was the large, thuggish man who was so excited about UnsraW that he looked like he was going to vomit before the show started.  Anyways, instead of just calling for UnsraW, he was doing this hilarious growl in time to the beat… I can’t even describe it…  He sounded like a wounded, charging rhinoceros.  Or maybe a lawn mower starting.  I really hope they keep some of the encore-calling on the final DVD, because this guy needs to be heard.   I know the guy knew it was funny, though, because he kept chuckling to himself while he was doing it.  One of the girls next to me was staring across the crowd at him like he was insane, but I couldn’t stop laughing.  Fuck, whatever it takes to get the band back, man.  We called for a damn long time, and I was like, gaaaah, just come back!!!

Finally, the lights started flashing, and UnsraW’s end of finale intro started playing.  How weird, to put the old intro at the end of the show!  It was like starting the show all over again!  Anyways, just like Friday, the band members came onstage one-by-one to the crazy whistle-noises.  They were all wearing the Gate of Birth shirts again, except for Yuuki, who came back with his previously-removed coat back on his shoulders and his costume completely fixed up.  I thought it was a little weird that the whole band semi-removed their costumes, yet Yuuki put his back on, but there was a purpose to it that we’ll get to later.  Yuuki was growling at the audience and demanding that we scream.  He pointed to the left and shouted for the left to scream, and then to the right, and then the back, the middle, and he stomped his feet until we satisfied him.

Now it was time for the final encore, literally.  The first song was -9-, which isn’t at all surprising because I’m pretty sure UnsraW would get rocks thrown at them if they didn’t play -9- at their final show.  -9- was very fun, of course, but I think it’s about time we get to Warai Oni, hmm?

As I mentioned in my last post, Warai Oni is the band’s interactive repeater song, which can last anywhere from five to fifteen minutes.  I guess the DVD can prove me wrong, but I’m fairly certain this particular Warai Oni went for over twenty minutes.  Seriously.  When Jin said they were gonna show us the “true meaning of UnsraW”… he wasn’t joking.  That 20+ minutes of Warai Oni that occurred at this show was the truest essence of UnsraW:

Pure.  Fucking.  Chaos.

When it started up, it seemed a lot like the Warai Oni of the previous night, with everyone jumping up and down excitedly while the entire band got a wicked look in its eyes.  However, when the actual repeater part of the song started up and everyone slammed forward into the dog pile, I suddenly noticed - through the heads and shoulders of the people I was crushed into - that Yuuki - whose coat was removed again - was right up at the front, holding two pistol-shaped, weapon-like things.  He had them crossed in front of his chest like some kind of Wild West gangster.  There was a loud bang as Yuuki shot them off, and insane amounts of silver streamers went flying out over the crowd.  We all got blasted in the face with them, and I was so shocked to suddenly have a bunch of silver stuff in my eyes that it took me a second to realize they came out of Yuuki's "guns."

Yuuki tossed the streamer-pistols aside and he and his band mates came rushing forward, ready to start fucking with the crowd.  Almost immediately, Madoka was yanking people forward into the pit (with a big smile on his face at last).  Jin and Tetsu were running back and forth, teasing the audience and letting people grab at their ankles.  The audience is supposed to slam forward in time to Yuuki's screams in Warai Oni, but most of the audience just threw themselves forward into a writhing mass, while the saizen girls were literally hanging themselves over the bar and shaking their hair around like crazy.  Yuuki was almost immediately putting his upper body out into the crowd and letting people grab at him.  That's when the chaos started.  The more people put their hands all over Yuuki, the more "violent" the look on his face got.  Soon, Yuuki was moving back and forth across the front of the stage, but instead of yanking people forward, it was like a wild fury took hold of him.  It's hard to describe but... it looked as if he was trying to "shred" the audience.  He would lean over the crowd, put his arms into the pit, and just start ripping at people.  He would grab at every arm or piece of clothing he could find and drag that person forward.  But he did it so rapidly, he looked almost like a dog digging frantically through a garden.  I saw him do this in some areas and thought, "wow, that looks both terrifying and exhilarating."  And then he came over to my area...

Honestly, it was crazy having that man tear up the audience right in front of you.  We all reached out to grab him, and it was hard to tell who was shredding who.  I remember Yuuki grabbing onto my arm and pulling me against the guy in front of me.  So I latched onto Yuuki's arm, and he responded by pulling me harder, until it felt like he was trying to rip my arm out.  The wild look in his eyes never diminished.  Meanwhile, everyone around me was groping frantically at Yuuki's arms and shoulders, and so did I.

Soon, Yuuki disappeared, and I thought maybe he was taking a break from everyone clawing at him.  Around that time, Madoka started throwing himself into the pit and stage-diving, and Tetsu started dragging people into the pit too.  There were times when Jin said "fuck it" to playing his bass and came up front to focus on riling everyone up.  There were also some times when Madoka literally just threw his guitar away so he could freely toss himself out into the crowd.  There was a huge smile on my face every time a band member came over to my area, when all of a sudden, a blast of cold, white mist shot into my eyes.  I felt really disoriented, blinking through the white stuff, before I managed to crane my neck and see Yuuki stomping up and down the front of the stage with a huge hose, shooting some kind of dry-ice at the audience.  It was like being blasted with a fire extinguisher!  I kept spluttering on the smoke, which meant opening my mouth and having to taste it.  It didn't taste too bad, but it was full of grainy, flaky stuff, which was kinda nasty.  But I didn't care, because Yuuki was purposely trying to make a mess out of us.  Yuuki was prowling around, shooting the dry-ice all over the crowd, and then sometimes at himself, and then back at us, all while shouting and snarling at the audience.  Madoka was just as excited as Yuuki, so he ran up to one of the microphones and started screaming at us too.  It was good to see, since Madoka choked at the microphones the previous night.  This time, instead of going quiet, Madoka was all like, "fuck yeah, raaaar!" and stuff.  If you want to see what this fire extinguisher thing looks like, Yuuki did something similar in 2007 for UnsraW's Screaming Birthday DVD.  I didn't want to post any footage from that DVD because it features the two older members (Jun and Rai) and they're irrelevant right now, but this is pretty good footage of the fire extinguisher.  Watch this clip of Warai Oni from 2:00-3:30 (or watch the whole thing if you find this kind of performance intriguing.  It's a great example of an interactive repeater song, and the fake blood is, uh... foreshadowing for later in this post.  Although, honestly, this video clip of Warai Oni from 2007 isn't nearly as insane or chaotic as the one I'm writing about) :

Anyways, so Yuuki "extinguished" the crowd for awhile, and by the time he was done, the audience had become as ravenously monstrous as him.  I remember something smashing down on top of my head as hard as possible and thinking, "sonnuva bitch!" until I realized people were crowd-surfing and rolling themselves across the top of the audience.  Then I realized some of those surfers were climbing up my back and using me as their ladder.  Fucking ow.  I must've gotten surfed on over twenty times, as several different girls rolled themselves over the crowd, kicking every head they passed.  UnsraW made no attempt to stop stirring the pot of chaos, and they were elbow-deep in the audience.  Yuuki was throwing water all over the place, drenching the crowd.  I even saw him shooting water at one of the crowd-surfers.

Eventually, Yuuki disappeared again.  Now I was onto him, and wondering what kind of trick he'd pull this time.  Well, Yuuki came back over to the front of the stage, and this time he was holding a cup.  A cup of red, gelatinous goop.  Suddenly, he was tipping his head back and dumping the bloody goop all over his face.  Yuuki shook his head like a dog, shooting flecks of "blood" everywhere as it ran down his face and neck and chest.  That was the point during the show in which everyone collectively said "fuck it" to everything.  Yuuki put his upper body out into the crowd again, blood dripping all over the place, and everyone latched on to every inch of him possible, even as red slop smeared all over their faces and arms.  I remember Yuuki grabbing onto my arm, and his hands were all slippery and sticky with the stuff, leaving the back of my hand and fingers completely covered in it.  Soon, Yuuki was dumping another cup of it over his head, flattening his hair and turning his face completely red.  Goop was dripping from his chin.  He dumped another cup of it right onto the crowd, getting everyone as sloppy as possible.  When he leaned back into the audience, people completely stopped trying to be modest or hold back.  People were running their hands over Yuuki's face, through his hair, all over his chest, smearing the red stuff everywhere.  At one point, Yuuki got up in my face and he had goop dripping from his chin.  Amused, I reached up, took him by the chin, and smeared the fake blood off.  There, now you look better.

It was pure insanity.  Yuuki used several more cups of fake blood, pouring it on himself and the crowd, and everyone in the first few rows was covered in it.  I had it all over my arms.  But then Yuuki came around, shooting water at everyone and washing a lot of the blood off the audience.  Then he started shooting water at his band mates too.  He ran over to the drum set and started threatening to throw water at Shou.  Poor Shou was pulling away with this look on his face like, "no, no, no...!"  Then Yuuki dumped a bottle of water on him, and Shou was like, "gaaaah" but laughed nonetheless.  Then Yuuki ran over to the left side and sprayed Jin with a bottle of water, soaking him all over.  Jin just laughed.  Then Yuuki crept up behind Tetsu and sprayed him, and Tetsu looked over his shoulder, annoyed, and turned away.  Oh, Tetsu, lol.  Wanting to get revenge for both himself and Tetsu, Jin grabbed a bottle and waited for the perfect moment to use it.  Honestly, Jin is a diabolical motherfucker.  Right after Yuuki drowned Tetsu, Yuuki threw his head back and screamed at the crowd.  When he did that, Jin snuck up behind him and poured a bottle of water right into his mouth.  Hahaha, what a bastard!  Yuuki spluttered a little but, thankfully, he didn't choke on it.  Then he turned around and gave Jin a look like, "what gives?!"  Jin just skittered away.  Around that time, Madoka failed to realize what Yuuki was doing and ran over to the left.  Run away, Madoka, Yuuki's on a water rampage!  Sure enough, while Madoka was playing up at the edge of the stage, Yuuki blasted him with a bottle of water.  Madoka, like Tetsu, just looked over his shoulder and turned away with an annoyed huff.  Unfortunately for Yuuki, as he was attempting to leave the left side, Madoka grabbed a bottle of water and soaked Yuuki from behind, smirking.  Man, it was Revenge Night!  Yuuki didn't even turn around.  I've always found it very strange and interesting that Yuuki and Madoka seem to be best friends for life offstage, but onstage they always 100% ignore each other.  Like, offstage they talk about each other like they're soul mates, but onstage it's like the other one doesn't even exist.  That was the first time I've ever seen those two interact onstage, and it was awkward as hell... but still pretty funny.

Anyways, Madoka kept going up to the microphone and screaming at the audience and trying to rile us up.  Crowd-surfers were tearing over the audience.  Meanwhile, Yuuki was all up in the crowd, getting groped all over.  He was clawing at his chest, and there was some real blood on his chest now, mixed up with all the fake blood.  Good thing he didn't wear his chest piercing at this show, although his nipple piercing and navel piercing were still intact.  No one held back anymore.  People were clutching at every inch of Yuuki and running their hands over his face and torso.  It was like we all knew he was leaving, and none of us wanted to let him go.  I found myself clutching his arm at one point when it dawned on me that this was UnsraW's last song ever.  I squeezed Yuuki's arm tightly, thinking, please don't go, please don't go!  His arm was nice and soft.  But soon enough, he was pulling out of the crowd, leaving gooey blood behind him and the audience.

And so began one of the most incredible moments of the night.  Break described it perfectly when she called it "Yuuki's deconstruction."  It technically started when he took off his coat, and now it was time to get serious.  First, he dumped a bottle of water over his face, letting it run over the fake blood.  Then he grabbed an UnsraW towel and began furiously wiping at his face, removing all the fake blood and dying the white part of the towel completely red.  At one point, he just draped the towel over his face and tilted his head back.  He stood like that for awhile, and then pried the towel off his face as if it weighed as much as a brick.  He came up to the front of the crowd and stared at all of us, but it was hard to say what his expression meant.  Then he looked angry very suddenly, and he ripped the mask off his face and threw it furiously into the crowd.  Dozens of hands went snatching after it.  The way Yuuki tossed the mask, it was as if it had burned him.  I always thought that mask covered very little of his face, but when he removed it, I realized just how much of his face was actually hidden.  After he removed the mask, he started furiously pulling his fake eyelashes off.  He threw those into the crowd too, then screamed at the audience to remove their own.  At first, I didn't even realize what Yuuki was trying to do.  Then Yuuki started digging around in his eyes, trying to remove his contacts, but I think he realized it was too hard to do onstage with one hand, so he gave up. But that's when I realized what Yuuki was doing.

He was obliterating and tearing down UnsraW's Yuuki... and just becoming Yuuki.

With his mask and eyelashes gone, Yuuki grabbed another towel and began furiously wiping all his make-up off.  The change in his face after he removed the eyelashes was incredibly extreme, and now that the make-up was gone, the face of a young man emerged from beneath the layers of grotesqueness.  Pictures of Yuuki without make-up are pretty rare, and he's always wearing sunglasses when he happens to get caught by a camera.  For most of the crowd, this was the first time seeing Yuuki completely "unmasked" like this.  The music was winding down at this point, and Yuuki was just standing there with one foot on the crate, make-up-less, flat-haired, and staring into the crowd.  His still-mismatched eyes were darting around the audience as if he was trying to make eye-contact with every last fan he saw.  The look on his face was almost surreal, and I couldn't possibly describe it.

When the song ended, Yuuki threw the UnsraW towel back over his face and held his arms up into the air.  Sad piano music began to play and the audience began cheering as Yuuki stood there, his face hidden.  The rest of the band raised triumphant fists at us.  Then Yuuki dropped to his knees and collapsed to the floor.  And he didn't get up.  He was completely hidden by the crate, and I couldn't see him at all, but his band mates didn't react to it, so I decided he was okay.  Shou came running out from behind his drum set, a huge smile on his face.  He ran back and forth across the front of the stage, his arm out so people could grab onto him.  He was kinda high-fiving some people while everyone cheered for him.  Then he stood there waving goodbye while grinning.  Tetsu also threw the horns and called out to us.  Madoka was just staring at the audience, a strange, unreadable expression on his face.  As for Jin....... we lost Jin.  He was at the back of the stage, facing away, clutching a towel over his face.  I'm 99% percent sure he was crying.  He was completely frozen, and he stayed there with the towel over his face the entire time the band was saying goodbye.  Of all the members of UnsraW, I honestly didn't expect Jin to be the one to cry.  It was shocking.

That was when the crushing horror came down upon me.  Some people in the audience were starting to cry, and Madoka was just staring out at us with a completely blank look on his face.  Shou seemed to sense the sadness beginning to wash over the audience, so he quickly waved his goodbyes, tossed some drumsticks, gave us a few more smiles, and left the stage.  Tetsu seemed in a hurry to run off too, so he just threw the horns at the left side of the crowd, tossed a couple pick, and then left the stage without a single glance at anyone else.  Yuuki was dragging himself to his feet around that point.  Madoka pretty much just turned around and left when Yuuki got up, and exited the stage with that same, strange look on his face.  The band looked completely overcome with emotion, and their hasty exit looked like someone trying to rip off a band-aid as fast as possible to avoid feeling the pain.  Many people were screaming for Yuuki, and I felt bad for his band mates that Yuuki was getting so much attention as they were saying goodbye.  But, again... this was really for him.  The rest of the band already said their goodbyes a year ago, and this show was for Yuuki to say farewell.  Jin was still in the back, crying, when Yuuki came forward.  His real face was exposed, and he was staring into the crowd.

Everyone started hysterically screaming Yuuki's name and pushing forward, and Yuuki just continued to look at us in silence.  I'll never forget that look on his face as long as I live.  It wasn't sad or happy or angry, it just was.  His eyes flicked back and forth across the audience, locking eyes with each and every person he saw.  His eyelids were lowered slightly, indicating maybe a drop of sadness, but, for the most part, the look on his face was simply resolved.  Finished.  And he was determined to look each of us in the eye, one by one.  There wasn't a single tear in his eyes, or even the tiniest sheen of sadness.  Before the show, I predicted he might cry, but he didn't look even close to tears.  Maybe some people in the audience thought he was a coward when he first broke up UnsraW, since he couldn't bring himself to show his face at the last shows.  But at this show, Yuuki stood there alone before us, and he faced each and every one of those fans with dry eyes.  The "yuu" in Yuuki's name means "bravery", and what he did at that show was incredibly brave.  He stood there without any make-up, with his true face showing, and he ended UnsraW without a single mask to hide behind.

For that, I can't possibly thank him enough.

By then, Jin was finished crying, and he came up to the front and we all yelled for him, but then he ran off the stage pretty fast too, leaving Yuuki all alone.  The look on Yuuki's face didn't waver, and he continued to stand there, just a normal man, silently watching the crowd scream and cry for him.  I wish I could describe his face.  It's burned into my memory forever, yet I don't have the words to describe the way Yuuki was looking at us.  There was... exhaustion on his face, and weariness.  But also a look of satisfaction and completeness.

Finally, Yuuki backed away.  He yelled something, I don't even know what.  Then he threw his towel into the crowd and headed to the back of the stage.  Before he left, he turned back around and completed his deconstruction before us.  He clutched the front of his shirt and tore it open like the Hulk, then threw it to the floor.  Then he stood there, bare-chested, covered in sweat and dried blood, his ribs showing through his skin.  Then he turned around and exited the stage.

The Gate of Death closed silently behind him.

There wasn't even a moment of silence.  The second Yuuki was gone, even over the sound of the piano music, the venue overflowed with the sound of sobbing.  Every single person around me was crying, some of them hysterically.  The girls in front of me were pressing their towels into their faces, and some girls dropped down into a crouch to cry into their knees.  As for me... I was just paralyzed, staring at the spot where Yuuki had just been.  I didn't cry, but I didn't feel like I could move either.  Just like that... he's gone...

MelJay was crying next to me, and Peachy was sniffling on my other side, but I just stood there.  Somewhere to my right, MelJay turned around and threw her arms around a Japanese girl who was sobbing hysterically.  Someone was hugging me, but I don't know if it was Break or Peachy, because I was too busy staring, unblinking, at the stage.  Somewhere in all that sobbing, a boy to my left screamed, "YUUKI, ARIGATOU!!!" ("YUUKI, THANK YOU!!!") as loud as possible.  Suddenly, everyone in the audience started screaming, "Yuuki, arigatou!" or "UnsraW, arigatou!" as loud as possible, and everyone started clapping.  I was able to come out of my paralysis long enough to scream "thank you" at them too, and then the clapping died down, and everyone began to back away.  Still, there were pockets of sobbing fans everywhere around us, and those who weren't crying just looked dazed.

I was just standing there, frozen yet again, when someone put a hand on my shoulder.  I think it was Peachy.  I turned around and hugged her, and whispered, "this is the definition of 'devastating.'"  I hugged MelJay too, and was starting to worry that I'd cry, when Break came over and made a joke about the "shiny-shit" all over the floor.  That got a laugh out of me, and Break started attempting to pick up the "shiny-shit", except it was all over the floor in these seemingly endless ribbons, and we couldn't figure out where the "shiny-shit" ended.  The shiny-shit jokes got me laughing, which was probably the best thing at that moment.  Thank you for making me smile, Break, it really helped.

But seriously, this stuff was everywhere.  In this picture, the shiny-shit was trailing all along the floor, and out into the hallway:

Peachy's in the background, and that's my arm in the front.  Thank you, Break, for the hilarious photo.
We joined the line for merch, because this would be our last chance to ever get any.  Unfortunately for MelJay, they were out of the t-shirts.  Sorry, MelJay.  I bought a bunch of cheki, even though I don't care about cheki, because I figured it would be the last possession I could ever have of UnsraW.  I was sad to see Yuuki smoking in both the cheki pictures I bought.  You said you quit, Yuuki!!!  And MelJay said she could smell cigarette smoke on your coat!  For shame!

Anyways, people were still crying, even in the merch line.  A group of sniffling girls recognized Peachy from some DIAURA shows.  The girls got big, teary smiles on their faces when they saw our whole group together.  We all kind of laughed about going to the same shows.  Whatever Japanese fans might think of us foreigners, I think we all became equals at the end of this show.  Clearly, we all felt the same thing, regardless of race or fandom.

When we finally got outside, people were standing around, and we decided to take some pictures by the bouquets.  A very nice Japanese fan took a picture of our whole group for us:

Me, MelJay, Break, Peachy
I'm not even sure how I managed that drop of a smile for that picture.  I still felt totally devastated.  We went off to a convenience store, where the very confused workers had to deal with girls covered in fake blood.  I still had it on my hands.  One girl came in with streaks of it down her face and timidly bought some wet wipes to clean up with.  The cashier was looking at her like she was crazy.  Also, we noticed that, in the SoyJoy section, every last strawberry SoyJoy was gone, but all the other flavors remained.  UnsraW fans, did you do this?!  How much strawberry SoyJoy do you think poor Yuuki can eat, lol?!

Anyways, so I have this very bad problem, and I've had it my whole life.  I tend to, um... mix up my emotions, or displace them horribly.  Like, if I'm sad about something, I might laugh, or if I'm happy about something, I might get bitchy, or if I'm angry about something, I might get depressed.  And sometimes, I'll displace an emotion onto the wrong thing.  Like, if I'm worried about something, I won't noticeably worry about that specific thing, but I'll fret about something totally unrelated.  Well, it's still a problem for me, so...

I wanted to use the bathroom, and there was only one person in line.  I really wanted to go, so I rushed over to the line as fast as I could.  The second I got there, however, about four people suddenly got in line ahead of me.  For a moment, I was just shocked, and then... I just burst into tears.  As I was crying, I was thinking idiotic things like "everything's broken forever!!!"  No, I wasn't crying about the bloody bathroom, it's just that I didn't manage to cry at the appropriate time, back in the venue.  MelJay was quick to comfort me, since she's used to my behavior and knew I most definitely wasn't crying about the bathroom.  But it was really embarrassing, and probably looked really silly.  Thankfully, since all the UnsraW fans in the convenience store looked pretty fucked up, I probably didn't stand out too badly.

I couldn't bring myself to eat, even though it was already after 10:00 (seriously the show went on for almost three hours, probably because of Warai Oni), but MelJay forced a drink on me and we sat on the curb outside, being depressed and watching all the other UnsraW fans standing around drinking and looking sad.  Eventually, we saw the EDGE staff come outside to unload the pieces of Shou's dismantled drum set.  I couldn't even look at it.  We just stood up and walked away.

We said goodbye to Peachy at the station while MelJay and I returned to our hostel.  On the way, we stopped off and got some easy-to-eat food and some Smirnoff Ice.  We purposely got a private room in the hostel a few weeks in advance, since we knew it would be a hard night.  While we were in our room, we took our Smirnoff Ices and decided to have a toast.  But... a toast to what?  I mean, we could've had a toast to UnsraW but... UnsraW was over.  With a sad smirk on my face, I said, "well, at least you got to see the Big Guy truly being big."  MelJay agreed.  With a shrug, we clinked our bottles together and toasted "to the Big Guy."

Many days have passed since the final show, but Yuuki finally appeared on his nearly-abandoned blog to write a message.  I decided to translate it, although I apologize if there are any errors on my part.  Here's what Yuuki had to say:

The Living Proof

UnsraW First LIVE
Gate of Death
Before death, UnsraW was born.

Gate Of Birth
“With this hand, I shall crush UnsraW.”
Before the ruins of everything I destroyed…

I give the first cries of the newborn UnsraW to you all and ask

That you please take UnsraW into your hearts and raise it with great care for me,

So that a bright light will shine before the "Gate of Death."

Even more than death, life is a heavy, painful, bitter thing.

If you die, there is nothing.

What remains is only sadness and trouble for those around you, which can never be swept away.

Only that.

I want you to never forget the joy of having
Clothing, food, and shelter.

I only have one request for you all.

“To be alive”
“Right now”
“This second”

“ a given.”

Please don’t think life is merely a given.

All living things must come to an end.
That’s destiny.

Not just humans,
But grass, and trees, and flowers, and even the Earth.

Your beloved band can die too.

Your best friend.

Your lover.

And even your family.

It’s a cruel thing but,
That’s reality.


To give up on life is easy.

In life, the most bitter, painful, agonizing thing is
I think.

I haven’t lived for very long, but that’s what I believe.

Because of that,

No matter how painful,
Or how bitter,
So that I won’t have any regrets,
“This very moment”
Will be precious.

Please continue to live in this world with me, okay?

I’m here for you all.

For those of you who supported UnsraW these last six years,

I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

- Yuuki

P.S. Thank you for all the emails and letters. 
From now on, I’m going to keep this blog alive as long as possible.
From now on, more than ever, let your voices resound to me.

Because all of them, all of them, reach me.

Thank you, Yuuki, for everything.  Thank you for coming back and giving UnsraW the proper burial it deserved.  When UnsraW broke up, I understood why you couldn't show yourself, yet I couldn't shake the feeling that UnsraW's ending was "wrong."  It's one thing for a band to end with a missing member, but Yuuki... you were the creator, the music writer, the lyricist, the hand that turned the crank of the entire machine.  To end UnsraW without you would be like shoving a headless corpse onto the stage to say goodbye.  So thank you for coming out two final times and looking each of us in the eye.  You faced us without a single tear of regret, and you gave us the farewell that we, and your band, deserved.  I hope you had a good time, maybe enough to want to be a vocalist again someday.  Talent in indies is so hard to come by now, but you... you were special.  You had a vision, and you stuck to it in this scene of glass-eyed puppets and hand-painted marionettes.  You had a passion that few performers could ever match, and you made me so happy.  Your band... is probably the only indies band I would ever say I "loved."  Not enjoyed or liked, but loved.  I've been trying to fill that hole UnsraW left behind with the hundreds upon hundreds of indies bands I go to see... but none of them can ever come close.  I just keep filling this jar with useless, rusted pennies, hoping it'll simulate the satisfaction I once had.

Even if I could only be an UnsraW fan for a year before its disbandment, it was an amazing year.  I learned that even a small indies band can be meaningful, and that something amazing still existed in the sinking ship of the visual-kei industry.  Yuuki, Madoka, Jin, Shou, Tetsu... I hope you all go on to do something wonderful, regardless of whether or not it's on a stage...  The Gate of Death is closed, but maybe another gate can finally open for you all.  I wish you luck and happiness wherever you wind up, and I'm thankful for everything you've done up until now.   

And for making me feel anything at all, even sadness, even for two nights... that means more to me than a hundred concerts ever could.



  1. I'm not even a real UnsraW fan, and I'm crying so much right now, after reading about Yuuki's deconstruction.

    1. It was one of the most strangely poetic things I've ever seen at a show :-(

  2. You are one hell of a writer.

    Seeing a lot of so-called- blogs around the net, yours is the only one that keeps me indeed waiting for a new post. Thanks to the way you're writing your reviews, it makes me feel like I've been there myself. All those little details, the stories around the events, your personal view on everything is just so interesting to read.

    And I just love your hilarious sarcasm.

    For the UnsraW Posts, I am not a fan, still pretty new to this kind of music, but I have to admit that I got a bit teary because of the intense way you wrote this entry.

    Please keep on writing.

    And sorry for sounding a bit like a creepy stalker (awkward)

    Greetings from overseas

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words :-) And don't worry, you don't sound creepy at all! This blog welcomes all comments, whether anonymous or not, and I'm always happy to hear from new people! And comments like yours make so so so happy. My confidence in this blog wavers constantly, but when readers tell me they get enjoyment out of my writing, it makes me feel like what I do is worth it. As long as there are readers who enjoy my words, I promise I'll keep on writing. Thanks you so much for your kind comment. Your words mean a lot to me <3

  3. Oh goooood, I don't even know what to say. I would have never imagined that Unsraw has been such an important band for you.Being able to read everything you felt at this show,is something I thought you'd never do,at least not with this kind of intensity. I can really imagine how you must have felt like in that moment when you cried,but I hope that those last two shows fulfilled your dream of seeing UnsraW again.I also hope that you will find new bands that you will "love". And for the sake of my mental health,I hope that you get the chance to see DEG again when they're back on stage xD.

    1. That's aright, I kinda kept my UnsraW fandom to myself, so it probably surprised a lot of people that I cared so much. After getting hurt by the transitivity of indies bands too often after study abroad, I started keeping my fandoms more private, just in case. Sort of like a protective barrier. And I did the same with UnsraW and, lo and behold, they were gone within a year. I guess it can't be helped. But it was nice to be able to open up for once and let the true emotional experience flow on the blog. It gave "Kita" a bit more of a soul, at least briefly. And I, too, hope I'll find an indies band to love. I guess I'll have to keep on searching. It's exhausting, but maybe it'll be rewarding in the end. But seriously... DEG... please perform soon, I'm going crazy T______T

  4. Wow, this was amazingly well-written. You really took us right there with you. I was almost crying, and I don't even know UnsraW that well... I kept thinking, I would be so devastated if this happened to me. I hope you can find another indies band that you can love:)

    1. I'm glad I was able to take you along, even if you don't know the band very well :-) And I hope I can find a new band to love too....... :-(

    2. This is totally unrelated, but I passed the driving test!! On my first try!! So, I'm gonna go to the DIAURA one-man in August. Just gotta buy my ticket:p

    3. You...... you are not mortal >_____> But congratulations, lol. And I'll be at that one-man too, yaaaay! I'm a little worried cuz it's on a Thursday and, shitty timing, classes will have just started. But... I'll figure something out, lol.

  5. Hm...I never cared much for Unsraw. Nor reading your review I kinda feel I should have maybe. Oyasumi is really beautiful.

    1. Aaw, that's alright, to each his own ^__^ But I'm glad I could share a song with you that you like. Oyasumi always makes me so sad, but it's not really a bad sadness.....

  6. Thank you so much for writing these two reviews.
    I actually started shaking in the beginning of reading it, like I felt you suspense.
    It was really beautifully written and as usually it felt like I was right there next to you. -w-

    I was so worried about Yuuki, but after reading this I feel so much better.
    As much as my heart is breaking because he's leaving I always try my best and see it from their point of view. They are humans as much as anyone and they have the right to do what they feel right to do with their lives. If a band wants to disband, whatever the reason is, I don't think I have the right to be angry or upset about it. Of course I'm sad and I'll miss them, but I respect their decision.

    It's funny how much we seem to have in common, the first song I heard by them is also Social Faker, and it's one of the most played songs on my ipod still. They will be one of my favorite bands forever, I think. There's just no other band close to them. I have a bit mixed feelings about not going because reading this from you was super intense and I burst out in tears when I understood what Yuuki was doing while taking off his things in the end. I don't know how I would react if I was actually there.

    Thank you again for writing both of the reviews, I've read them twice already and I'm sure I'll read them again. Thank yooou. ToT <3

    1. Replying to all three comments ^__^

      First of all, it's no problem at all, writing these reports :-) I understand that a lot of UnsraW fans couldn't make it to the last shows, and they deserve to be brought along for the ride just as much as anyone. I'm glad I could share the experience with my fellow UnsraW fans, even if it was hard to read at times. If I hadn't gone, I would've been on the edge of my seat hoping someone else had written a detailed report, so I'm glad I could provide one for everybody ^__^ I agree with you completely that the band is human, and that we can't really be angry with them. One of the things I always loved about UnsraW was how "human" they were, and it's that same human fragility that made them amazing, and also ended them. I'm glad for the six years they gave us, and I'm happy Yuuki even came back at all after the pneumonia. And I'll always have a special place in my heart for him, with or without his fake eyelashes :-) BARK BARK BARK BARK, hahaha.

      Also, I lol-ed at the NEGA story. When I went to VAJRA's last one-man show, their jackass guitarist (whom I adored until he became the douche bag vocalist of AWAKE) decided to throw red juice all over the audience. Peachy and I were drenched in the stuff, and it was the ONE time I was wearing a white shirt. Anyways, we stumbled to a Denny's after the show (one of the craziest shows I ever went to, btw) and we got up from our table to wash some of the red juice stains off our arms and face in the bathroom. Unfortunately, we forgot to lock the door, and an old woman walked in on us, two frazzled foreigners, standing at the sink, furiously rubbing red stains off our skin! She looked at us like O___O, apologized quickly, and ran off. It was sooooo embarrassing, but really funny XD

      And I approve of this SoyJoy vending machine. I hope Yuuki lives near one!

  7. Oh by the way, on a more funny note, I know how it feels like to walk around with fake blood all over, because I did after Nega's concert in AREA haha. Jin also grabbed hold of my arms and stuff. I tried to get it away by rubbing it with my shirt before going on the train but it only worked a little bit, but luckily my clothes were all black and I could hide my right arm, which was worst, inside my shirt XD I think I would have been taken by the police if they saw me.

  8. Oh and another funny side note, we have a soyjoy vending machine in our hallway and I always eat the strawberry flavor. :3

    Sorry for spamming haha

  9. Thank you so much for this. We never really talked to each other but this report .. I have no idea how to describe all these feelings I have right now.

    Just thank you. So much.

    1. You're welcome! I'm glad I could share my experience with you. And it's nice to meet you down here in the comments section ^___^

  10. I finally came back to leave a comment and I don't know where to begin now! It was a good change for you to put some more personal feelings in this report, it made it seem more real in a way, that it actually happened and I'm not just reading some random thing on the internet like usual lol
    I totally do the same with the fandom thing, I don't like telling people how much I love a band etc because then if something bad were to happen you've not got people turning to you saying 'oh hey, wasn't that one you really liked?'. I suppose that way it's easier to ignore how gutted you feel if/when they disband or something else bad happens. :/

    Anyway, yeah... The thing that hit me the most I think was you describing Yuuki's 'deconstruction', I get the impression that it was something he had to do, to properly finish things. It must have been incredible to watch and to be there for the last time... I'm getting all sad again and because I'm such a sucker for punishment I spent yesterday watching their live clips on Youtube, oh why did I do that?! >_< lol I've been in a funk all day now...

    So yeah, thanks so much for posting such an amazing review/report. It means a lot to a lot of people it seems ^^

    1. I... I know I should put more personal feelings in my posts... It would probably make this blog more lively. Once upon a time, this blog was more like that, but then I kinda withdrew a little, even though I was updating more often. But maybe I should try to come out of my shell a little bit again... :-/

      And I totally relate to your YouTube surfing. I did the same thing soon after the show, and I was like T___T the whole time. I thought it would make me feel better to watch some UnsraW stuff, but instead I was like "baaaaaaaw." My funk lasted about two weeks, and it's still not totally gone. Damnit, UnsraW >___<

      Anyways, I'm glad you "enjoyed" my report :-)

  11. Oh my goodness I'm tearing up over here just reading your report. Imagine actually being there.

    Thank you so much Miss Kita for sharing that with everyone. I always love your writing and it's lovely that you put so much emotion into this entry :)

    Now I need a tissue.

    1. *hands you a nice, soft tissue* I'm glad I could share the experience with you, even if you're now in need of tissues :-)

  12. I was wondering if this is the Yuuki!face you talked about?? (*w*)

    1. Hahaha, that's not a bad example of it! Thank you XD